Nausea , Sci-fi and More

[December 18, 2009]

Finally, FINALLY the nausea is dissipating. This last weekend we visited my folks and sister for (my nephew) Silas' baby dedication and then the next day we celebrated Fake-Christmas. Carey was sick most of the time. The sickest she's been the whole pregnancy, in fact. She puked a lot, poor thing. Then again, it might have just been the company we were keeping (wink). Several days have gone by with no sign of the dry heaves. But then this morning in bed she started gagging uncontrollably. I didn't even move. I'm so numb to it now. I just told her to eat a cracker. Mr. sensitive, I know. The newest thing, however is her wild mood swings.

The other day she was angry, short with people, and generally in a rage. In our ongoing problems with Group Health, we got a bill for $400 for Carey's HSG thingy. They billed us because it was labeled under fertility. This keeps happening, though they keep promising it won't. So she called them up and they refused to fix it. They said it would have to go to appeals. So she blew up and screamed at the lady on the phone that Group Health is a bunch of quote, mother-fucking sexists, end quote. Then a few hours later she was walking in a cross-walk while a car was turning left and didn't see her, almost hitting her. The curse words again, but also she mentally snapped and smashed her purse against the side of the car (the driver responded with the middle finger, but otherwise let her live, thank the good lord). Inside the purse she shattered her hand sanitizer bottle all over the place. Later when I got home she was really upset at herself for her outrageous behavior. I was just glad she didn't get in a brawl. But then the next night she was all euphoric laughing and being silly and not criticizing me or making me do work. Not just in a good mood, but in a super good mood! Everything is rainbows and puppy dogs and sunshine and happy togetherness!

Carey's still pushing Judah for a boy's name. Until now I have been able to easily shrug off her tactics of getting me to agree with her. But then she upped her game. She reminded me that I was the one who came up with it. So I'd get the credit. I'm such a sucker to flattery. Then she said this - "Judah. It's so rock-n-roll." Now I can't stop thinking of it in that context. In those words. She really knows how to get her way. She should be a hostage negotiator.

On the car ride to Portland to visit the fam, I brought up my thoughts on baby room decorations. Not being a fan of babies or baby stuff in general, I wanted to nix the shi shi idea of a babyish baby room right from the start. You know, teddy bears and bright colors and all that horrible stuff. Giant murals of crappy fantasy characters or whatever childish theme covers the walls. Like everything else, I want it minimal. Turns out that Carey already has some ideas for themes. If it's a boy, she wants to do a space theme. And if it's a girl she suggested moons and stars and suns. I like those ideas for sure, but they both sounded like the same thing. She assured me that one is more boyish and the other more girlish. "Space" would be more of a Sci-fi kinda thing, she explained.Like rocketships and astronauts. The other would just be celestial body or nebula or like comets and supernovas and galaxies. No fictional technology or futuristic speculation, I guess. I think they should both get sci fi. There's no way I'm gonna limit my girl to conventional gender roles. Fuck that. I will teach her everything I know. From carpentry to car maintenance to sewing. Oh, wait. Sewing's already for girls. My point is, I am adamant about not constraining my child to conventional gender roles. No patriarchy here. What's the word for both patri and monarchy? Equality, I suppose. Equalarchy. Did I just make up a word?

Tuesday we'll go in for another ultrasound: 10 weeks 2 days!

On the doin' it front, things have gotten slightly better. Five days ago she gave me a lovely "sexual favor". It's funny the games we play. We had a silly bet that both of us knew she'd lose so she offered that if she lost she'd give me a particular "sexual favor". And if she won? A good night's sleep. This was her subtle way of making up for her non-existent libido. And it was a fantastic favor, let me tell you! One of those earth-shaking experiences where afterwords you think, "If this got around it could end war!" Then last night in bed before we fell asleep, she asked me (just like every night) to rub her uterus and talk to the baby. I started there but my hand, of its own free will...well, you get the picture. Good times. And her only complaint was asking that I use less saliva when we kissed. Weird because that's never been an issue. Also, I must explain that this was more of a, how should I put this, more of a one-sided affair, if you get my drift. I used to feel bad when this happened, but these days I acknowledge her self-sacrificing attitude. Bless my baby mama for giving it up with little to nothing in return!