Doubts and Schemes and Plans

[July 9, 2009]


In the last eight days Carey has not felt pregnant. "I don't feel pregnant," she tells me over and over. She's starting to show more signs of hyperactivity. Manic, excitable behavior. She convinced herself that her pregnancy had somehow disappeared. She bothered me to walk to Walgreen's with her to purchase another pregnancy test, talking a mile a minute the whole way there (it's that meth-like behavior again). At that point she had already tested positive twice - one home test and one from the doctor. The new test proved positive, of course. That was number three. This kept her confident until yesterday morning when she secretly urinated on another stick confessing to me later about it. Still pregnant. That's four tests so far. So much for trusting pee.



The secret is probably the most difficult thing about the whole deal (for me anyway). Saturday we attended Jennifer and Jeremy's wedding. Carey had some anxiety about the drinking. We didn't want to get found out just yet. It would look suspicious if she wasn't drinking at a wedding, right? So we hatched a little scheme. When the time came, I would offer her a drink and make sure everyone at our table heard me and then saw me return with a glass of wine. "Care. Can I get you a drink? Wine? Okay, I'll go get you a glass of wine. I'm going now to get you a glass of wine that has alcohol in it that you can drink." Not very slick, actually. Then she would bring the wine to her lips a few times and/or take the drink with her to the bathroom and dump some of it out. She over-did the fake drinking a bit (similar to my overacting about getting her a drink). I brought a few gluten-free beers for myself. She asked to try one (fake-try one for show). She brought it up to her lips too fast and the carbonation made a mini-explosion spraying all over her face which she quickly dried off. Still, no one seemed to notice. Even during the toasts. If we have to do it again, we should sneak in some sparkling cider as a decoy and just do away with all this tom foolery bad acting.


Last Friday marked 5 weeks. We took a picture of her from the side. Not much difference. Tomorrow week 6 begins. I've been trying to read to the baby cells every night since week five. Dr. Doolittle is the first book. Carey likes it, though she falls asleep almost immediately after I begin reading. I have to catch her up each night before I begin a new chapter. Which, naturally, irritates me to no end.


We began making plans for telling our fams. I canceled the Manchester (New Hampshire) to Newark (New Jersey) leg of my flight back from Camp Cote. Carey talked Ryan into driving to NH to pick me up on Monday, July 27. Piyush is in town from India so we'll get to tell that whole clan of her family maybe over dinner Monday night. I imagine Sam will be the most thrilled about the whole ordeal. We haven't figured out how to tell the Nancy side yet. Maybe lunch on Tuesday in New Haven. For my family, we're probably going tell them on Labor Day weekend in Portland - my parents and Wendy and Paul. Not sure about the Wayne-O group. I personally haven't told a single soul. It's good to talk about it with Carey a lot. To pacify the urge to blab about the new person on the way.