Like the wedding industry, the baby stuff empire is a total racket. There is so much ridiculous crap out there that nobody needs. Baby wipe warmers? COME ON! And another thing, the genderizing of babies is infuriating. Colors, toys, and even animals have already been violently divided into what's for boy babies and what's for girls. Boys can't have cats. They have to have dogs. Cats are for girl babies. A baby girl's room CANNOT be decorated with anything having to do with transportation like planes, trains or automobiles. Girls don't like transportation, I guess. It's so stupid. I asked Carey what about unicorns? She laughed in my face. "Are you serious? Unicorns are only for girls!" I disagreed. You are telling me that ALL unicorns are ONLY for girls? On our way to a baby shower we carpooled with Toby and Bex. Carey couldn't wait to ask them their take on the issue. Sure enough, they both sided with unicorns are for girls. Toby pointed out that though they were for girls, there still were boy and girl unicorns not to mention the gay ones. But Carey didn't stop there. She interviewed every single person she came in contact with at the shower to prove her point. "Unicorns are associated with princesses and rainbows and magical fairy tales," she explained with Rush Limbaugh smugness. I don't know. A unicorn by itself seems pretty gender neutral to me. I think I'll buy Judah a unicorn right now off the Internet. Stand by...
While I'm waiting for Judah's new toy to arrive (see picture below) I thought I'd mention a few new developments. First off the baby is kicking now quite a bit. It only started in the last week. I guess it feels like a little flutter or something.
, Carey is very happy whenever it occurs because it assures her that the baby is still alive. Sunday morning she shouted from the upstairs bedroom, "Bring me some orange juice!" As the dutiful husband/pop-to-be I brought her a small glass. She wanted to rile up the baby so I could feel a kick. She downed the juice, placed my two hands at the ideal spot but nothing happened. She tried going to the bathroom to wake him up. Afterward she laid down and he did kick. That is, until I got there waiting to feel. "That evasive little shit!" she said. But now that she's become accustomed to feeling kicks all the time when nothing happens she works herself into a panic. Even the consulting nurse didn't make her feel any better. She made an appointment with the clinic. Before visiting the doctor she asked me if I thought she was crazy. Of course I answered in the affirmative. I told her they'd say just what I've been saying (baby's only kick some of the time and that no kicking did not equal dead), but that she wouldn't be able to calm herself down unless she hears it from a medical professional. After the visit she texted me with poor spelling, "Worry was for nothing (smiley face emoticon) hes afine little boy." The other new thing is Carey has started to have severe back pain. It's one of two things: the baby is probably just sitting on a nerve or it's just typical for all the new added weight of the pregnancy. Her body has to compensate for those gargantuan breasts alone not to mention the cute little protruding belly that is really starting to grow. But it is still a bummer. Her job is so physical. Now when she gets home she has to lay down and put her feet up. Carey feels bad that I have to do everything now, wait on her hand and foot. I told her that she should continue to feel bad as it makes what I'm doing all the more admirable.Between all this baby kicking and never-ending back pain I was able to slip in a love-making session. One time at least. I can't wait for the alleged spike in libido that's supposed to come to the pregnant lady later on. My big brother, Wayne, informed me that the third trimester horniness does not happen to everybody. That it's kind of a myth. Obviously I'm hoping it happens to Carey. Between puffs off his cigar my brother quipped, "You need to keep your little 30-something boner in check."
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