To Cut or Not to Cut

[May 5, 2010]

Since our baby has a penis we have had to hash out our position on circumcision. And what better place to do it then at a restaurant with our close friends celebrating Carey's birthday? Granted, that's not the only time we've discussed it. Over the last few weeks we've talked about it almost without ceasing. And since Carey is on bed rest, we've had several friends bring us dinner. While they eat with us having nowhere to run, we bring up the topic of baby penises (Peni?). JB and Rob brought us dinner the other night and we grilled them on the subject. Rob has two teenage sons. But he told us it was never an issue because even though he is a devout atheist, he and his first wife decided to raise their boys Jewish. Thanks for nothing. But I must say the lentil soup was unexpectedly delicious! Neel and Josie brought us dinner one night. Their Rowan will be two years this month. When it came time for themto make the call, they had a brief discussion and came to an immediate decision not to cut. Carey had recently read an article about the pros of circumcision. I guess for the very young and the very old and those who are developmentally challenged, keeping that uncircumcised wiener clean is a challenge. There's also some statistic about a higher chance of contracting STIs if you are uncut. Carey read that for old duff's junk, nursing home staff often skip that part of the bath. This was the pro-cut argument we were considering of late. Neel and Josie discussed how circumcision traced back to a religious and then cultural practice and since they, too, are practicing atheists, they found it a bit antiquated and barbaric to cut off part of their son's penis. Sure, but we also have parts of our body that are purposeless that we are no better for having or not having. Like an appendix, for example. What's a little skin removed gonna do? Neel brought up a comparison that didn't quite fit at first. Female circumcision is waaay more drastic and heinous and purely evil than male circumcision. Calling that circumcision is a diabolical understatement. It's removing the clitoris. It should have another name. One that when heard would make your ears and eyes bleed. Also, those men who did that/do that should have their balls ripped out and fed to them. Ahem. Moving right along. But then Neel reprised his argument and asked, "How would you feel about having some of your baby daughter's labia removed just because that was the order of the day?" Touché. That would be absolutely horrific. Food for thought.

Back to the restaurant scene where the original members of The Happy Lucky Insult Club (Dan, Toby, Becky, Eric, Carey, yours truly) discussed the issue at hand. We'd already talked to Becky. Her stance is she believes you shouldn't cut off part of someone's body without their permission (without a really good reason. For more on the gay perspective I interviewed Eric. He said, with a deeply concerned sigh and I quote, "I'm just really torn." To which I burst out laughing. Not just because of the imagery from his connecting statement, but because of how sincere and troubled he expressed those words. Dan, too, was on the fence. He saw the pros and cons to both as well as we did. He says he wishes he wasn't circumcised, but then is so used to the cut look... he goes back and forth. Toby shrugged his shoulders and the table behind us all got up and left.

Our friends just had a baby boy in April. They didn't circumcise. They read that it's only around 50% of male American births now that do the ol' snip. The new father said, "I think his penis looks fine just the way it is." Our new pediatrician says the number is more like 70%, but he's also very pro-circumcision.

Then Carey abandoned ship. She decided it was up to me since I, like my son, have a penis. I still talked it out with her. Considering that circumcision does come from a Judeo-Christian belief that neither Carey nor I adhere to and just because it has been traditionally done by Americans is not a significant argument to convince me that it should be done. The uncut look is not that attractive to me, but maybe that's just the social conditioning I've been programmed with. And the way my own junk has always looked. Also, I've only seen a few uncuts in Spain at that clothing-optional beach where that one guy was seriously super uncircumcised and yet he walked with pride. (Of course it didn't hurt that he was in stride with those Spanish foxes at his sides, sans clothes...Damn, I love that beach! )Ultimately, when he's old enough to wisely make those decision for himself, if he so chooses to get it cut then, be my guest. And if for some odd reason there's ever a time when he
notices that other boy's members differ from his own in the amount of skin at the top, I'll just give him Neel's line - "Yeah, when I was born that's what everybody did with their baby boys. Some people still do it. They cut off a part of the penis. Kinda weird, don't you think?"